Adding meaning to your words!

Check out Wild Rose Press Publishing. They are currently accepting submissions and they have alot of writing tips on their website. Also, don’t forget to like their facebook page. Below is a link I found on their website. It’s about sentence structure and adding meaning to your words.

Hope this helps someone,
xoxo Siren.

Self-Editing: Carving Into Your Masterpiece

Carving Into Your Masterpiece

by Layla Chase©

At holiday meals, have you ever noticed the fuss about who gets the honor of carving the turkey or goose? Expertise is involved and most usually profess not wanting to be in charge of the meal’s centerpiece. Don’t we all suspect the carver secretly enjoys the attention and resulting accolades? We as writers are the masters or mistresses of our creative masterpieces-our manuscripts. So, let’s all grab a sharp knife and dig in.

Let’s work on word editing and rearranging sentences to elicit the maximum effect.

Gerunds-cut to the real meat of the sentence when describing a character’s movements

EX: Running into the house, she dialed John’s number on her cell phone. (Ouch-shouldn’t she dial 911. My first impression was the character literally hitting the outside wall.)

EX: Opening the door, he flipped on the light and drew his gun. (Almost sounds like the character has 3 hands, which is okay if this is science fiction and he’s an alien.)

Cause & effect-Slice into the middle of the sentence to retrieve the event that initiates a reaction.

EX: The sound increased when James swung open the door to his house.(effect before cause)

EX: When James opened the front door, the sound of the lawnmower intensified.(cause then effect)

Power words-save those luscious words for the end where they give the most flavor

EX: The night was noisy, then Caleb felt the danger all around him. (telling and vague)

EX: The croaking frogs and whirring cicadas quieted, the hairs on his arms prickled, then Caleb sensed danger. (specific details and ends with power word)

EX: The mangled corpse was covered with blood from head to toe.(passive)

EX: Every square inch of the mangled corpse dripped with blood. (pumped verb, power word at end)

EX: Blood dripped from every square inch of the mangled corpse. (another power word)

Overuse of adverbs-think of them as a spice that should be sprinkled, not shaken. Use of words ending in -ly often indicates a weak verb needs to be boosted.

EX: Maddie walked smartly across the room.

EX: Maddie strode across the room.

EX: Mr. Jensen talked softly to his wife about the movie.

EX: Mr. Jensen whispered to his wife about the movie.

With the inclusion of these tips in your self-editing process, you’ll have your manuscript lean and mean in no time. Happy carving!

(reprinted with permission from http://www.rosescoloredglasses.com)

Feedback from Friends!

In past posts I’ve told you all how shy I am about sharing my writings with my friends. Well I am slowly coming out of that shell. Last week I sent a copy of my story that received a request from a publisher via twitter to a friend for her to read it and give me her opinion on it.

I received her thoughts on the story this morning. This is what my friend/co-worker Alanna emailed me….

“Girl what can I say ???!!!??? I loved it… I couldn’t put it down!!! It all flowed really well… There is some misspelled words and a few others things.. But GIRL you can write!!! If you want me to read anything else send it my way.. ”

Alanna

She went on to point out the misspelled words and run on sentences she found in the story. But overall, she enjoyed it. That makes me happy because my goal as a writer is to create stories that make my readers smile. I want my story to stay on their mind long after they put the book or their kindle down.

I love to read and my favorite books are the ones that have me up all night, tired as can be but unable to stop reading until I finish the whole book.

As far as the grammatical errors – things like misspelled words and run on sentences can definitely turn a reader off and make your wonderful story seem subpar. I’m thankful to my beta’s Shawn and Alanna for catching mistakes in my story that I missed. Time for me to correct those mistakes and get this story sent in to the publisher!

But…..

Since I am so excited about the feedback I received from a friend, I have decided to share a excerpt from that story with you guys….

WARNING – IT IS STEAMY – ENJOY!

“Tell me baby,” he said again into her ear. “Tell me you won’t leave me.”

He shoved deeper into her and at that moment, at that particular time, she was willing to tell him anything that he wanted to hear.

“I promise,” she gasped as he rocked her again. She felt him removing her blind fold as he shoved in and out of her. Eyes free she stared up at him. He continued to ride her and she continued to love it. They continued to gaze at one another, his expression one of wonderment. She felt like crying from the intense emotions he was sending through her. Preston put his hand around her throat gripping her tightly but not in a painful way.

“I can’t lose you,” he said, “not again. I need you.” His eyes spoke volumes but did she dare believe it could be true?

Just when she thought he couldn’t go any deeper he did, her body shook uncontrollably as an orgasm like she’d never experienced ripped through her.

That excerpt is very tame compared to the rest of the story! 🙂

Have a great day,
xoxo Siren

Her Dom’s Journal Part 4

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“Being inside this woman is like being in my own personal erotic heaven. She’s so responsive, so wet and warm. My taste buds will never get enough of her flavor. I could feast on her wetness forever.”

London clutched her thighs together tightly. Damn it, she missed her Dom. She closed his journal and lay back against her pillows. She smiled as she replayed in her mind all the events that happened during their first weekend together. She could remember it like it was yesterday…

The moon had already risen to its position in the sky by the time they arrived at his condo. The trip there had been a silent one. She was normally outspoken but around him she was quiet and shy.

Everything about him exuded confidence… Dominance. Even the swag in his walk made her long to strip him out of those expensive suits he wore and take advantage of him. But she was supposed to be the sub and that meant she had to behave demurely.

London did not have a demure bone in her body. How was she ever going to play the role of a submissive successfully? Even though Michael looked good enough to eat, she still wouldn’t let herself become his sub… well not permanently. She was only agreeing to a weekend with him because the rules at The Fetish Garden required her to do so – all because she’d chosen the wrong mask her first night at the members only Sex Club.

In her defense, she was only trying to make a fashion statement. She liked to look good and be fashionably late to all events. But being late to an invitation only party and choosing a mask that complimented her dress rather than her intentions had gotten her in more trouble than it was worth.

London followed closely behind him as they approached his condo. The beauty of his beach home took her breath away. He unlocked the front door and she stepped into every girl’s fairy tale dream house encased in glass. There were windows everywhere, most offering a gorgeous view of the ocean.

The floor was made of a light colored wood. The walls were white and so were most of the couches that decorated the living area. London did not wait for him to tell her to explore his home she did so of her own volition. She was a lover of all things beautiful and his home was the most beautiful thing she’d seen. London sat down on the white couch located in the center of the room.

The cushion felt soft against her skin. London pressed her back against the couch and leaned her head back to stare up at the ceiling. To her amazement she could see the stars. The ceiling in the living room was also made of glass. She sighed as she watched the heavens. The sound of his voice brought her back to reality.

“Don’t move,” he whispered from the other side of the room, his voice dark, deeper than before. London was in the process of sitting up when he uttered those words, heart picking up speed she sat back and continued to stare up at the night sky. She wanted to turn her head in his direction to see what he was doing but she was too nervous to do so.

“No matter what I do to you,” he said, his voice coming from directly in front of her. She had not heard him cross the room. “No matter how good it feels London, I want you to keep your back pressed against the couch and your eyes staring up at the stars. Do you understand?”

Too excited to speak, London nodded her head yes. He sounded serious. Part of her was scared, the other part of her was fascinated.

“I need to hear you say it London. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” she whispered. She was already growing wet and he hadn’t even touched her yet.

“That’s yes sir, London.”

What the hell? Yes sir? Oh right, she was the sub – he was the Dom. Sort of like me Tarzan you Jane.

“Yes sir,” London said with a little more attitude than she intended.

Michael chuckled. “Don’t worry my dear,” he whispered. London could feel him kneeling in front of her. “Soon you will understand the ways of a sub and you will love it.”

Seconds later she felt his hands on her dress sliding it up her legs then her thighs. Michael spread her legs open and inhaled deeply. London wondered if he could see how wet she was through the sheer black fabric of her panties. Next she felt him tugging at her panties. London lifted her hips slightly and he proceeded to slide her panties down her legs.

Her hips jerked when she felt his warm breath at her center.

The next entry is available now: https://sirenallen.com/2013/04/09/week-5-of-her-doms-journal/.
XOXO Siren

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Book Cover Monday – Translation of Love By Alice Montalvo-Tribue

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I know they say to never judge a book by it’s cover but as readers we do this all the time.

This cover is for Author Alice Montalvo-Tribue’s new book Translation of Love which is scheduled to be released April 25, 2013. From the look in the Hero and Heroine’s eyes I can easily translate what they are saying and I can’t wait to read this book to see if my translation is correct. (I get chills from the intense look in their eyes.)

On Author Alice Montalvo-Tribue’s Facebook page she has a teaser from her new book and trust me it is nice.

You can find Author Alice Montalvo-Tribue on facebook @
https://www.facebook.com/alice.montalvotribue/216980565108887?fref=ts#!/pages/Alice-Montalvo-Tribue/216980565108887?fref=ts

Her book will be released on 4-25-2013. I’m excited! 🙂

This book has officially been judged by it’s cover and I can’t wait to read it!

xoxo Siren
https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Siren-Allen-Author/512231995485122