Sometimes I wonder whether I’m a genius or a fucking fool. Having her close to me allows me to keep an eye on her. I like knowing that she’s safe. But I also like feeling sane and when she’s near I’m always tethering on the edge of insanity. I refuse to fall. I refuse to give in to the cravings I have. I am strong. I can resist her. Yet I cannot deny these fears I have. My inner beast is strong, and he wants her. I fear one day I will lose control of the raging beast inside of me. Lord help her if I do.
– Devin Jordan
Any one on the outside looking in would think that Alyssa Blakely was hard at work. She sat behind her desk typing away, her eyes never leaving the computer screen in front of her. Each time the phone rung she promptly picked it up and graciously answered the callers question or transferred the call to her boss’s personal line. “A dedicated worker” is how holiday shoppers passing by her office window would describe her.
But, if you were a fly on the wall directly behind her, it would become apparent that work was the last thing on Alyssa’s mind. She typed away on her computer, watchful of her boss’s comings and goings. She was quick to change the screen whenever her boss came out of his office and passed by her desk, which he hardly ever did.
A blush crept up her neck and onto her face, flaming her cheeks as she wrote her latest fantasy in her diary. This particular fantasy was inspired by a dream she had last night. Alyssa smiled as her fingers moved over the keyboard. Crossing her legs, she focused on turning her dream into a diary entry.
~She stepped down into the waist-deep water. He crooked his finger at her, beckoning her to join him on the other side of the pool. She waded through the water, her eyes roaming over his physique. He was a blond Adonis with blue eyes and sinewy muscles. He wore a slight smile on his face as he waited for her to make her way over to him. Heart racing, she closed the gap between them.
Night had fallen, and moonlight reflected off the cool water, making her feel even more seductive. Water rippled around her with each step she took.
She stopped a few inches away from him, unsure of what to do next. His smile grew, and she found herself smiling in return. His hand reached for her, and she stood completely still, waiting on his fingers to caress her skin.
She shivered when his thumb rubbed across her nipple. “Alyssa,” he whispered before stepping forward. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. You’re smart, sweet, and extremely sexy.”~
Frowning, Alyssa lifted her hands from the keyboard. Did she really care if her fantasy lover thought she was smart and sweet; of course not. Alyssa backspaced, deleting the last sentence in her entry.
~“Alyssa, every time I see you, I get hard.”~
Alyssa smiled as she reread the sentence. Yes, she’d definitely rather have her fantasy man hard every time he saw her, rather than have him contemplating her intellect.
~He pulled her closer to his body, his fingers threading through her hair. Wrapping her arms around him, she massaged the corded muscles in his back. He was hard everywhere. Against her thigh, she felt his cock jerk and… ~
“Alyssa, I need you in my office now.” Her boss’s deep voice startled her, causing her to jump, but it also sent tingles down her spine as he spoke to her over the intercom. The intercom wasn’t a necessity. They were the only two people in the office, ever. He could have yelled for her from his desk in the next room, and she would have heard him.
But that would have been unprofessional, and Devin Jordan was very professional. She pressed the intercom button on her desk, “Coming.” I wish, she thought as she changed her computer back to a more work-related screen. He must be having a bad day.
He seemed a little put off when they arrived at the office this morning, and just now when he’d called her, he sounded a bit gruff. In her dreams, he sounded different – more seductive. Grabbing her note pad and pen, she headed to her boss’s office.
When she entered his office, she was immediately engulfed in his scent. It wasn’t that his cologne was overbearing, in fact it was subtle. But whenever he was near the smell of him wrapped around her. It was a hard sensation to describe but it was a sensation she craved. Even when she dreamed of him she would awaken to his scent lingering in her room.
Alyssa stood near the door, waiting for her boss to acknowledge her. When he swiveled around in his chair, their gazes locked and for a second neither of them said a word. Time stood still. Somewhere in the world a dozen doves were being released into the sky, to soar high above the heavens, and angels sang songs of praise.
Well, that wasn’t happening in real life. But that was what came to mind whenever her boss stared at her… and continued to stare at her causing her to wonder if he really paged her or not. He had page her, hadn’t he? He was staring at her like he was surprised to see her. She knew she should look away, but she couldn’t, she wouldn’t, she didn’t want to. The spell was broken when he cleared his throat.
Blinking, as if awaking from a dream, Alyssa stepped forward. She always felt like she was suffocating whenever he gazed at her for an extended period of time. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think when his eyes held hers enthralled. He probably thought she was crazy. Devin Jordan held his phone in one hand and motioned for her to have a seat with the other. He turned his back to her and continued his conversation.
Seriously, he had buzzed her, right? She was sure he did. Why call her into his office if he wasn’t ready for her? Of course she would never ask him that, but still it was kind of rude to force her to sit here while he continued with his business call. There were a dozen of other things she could be doing right now at her desk.
Well, actually there wasn’t. She’d finished everything before lunch. But she could be writing in her diary. She stared at the back of his head while listening in. Not a hair on his blond head was out of place. Nor was it ever.
He was one of those men who looked like perfection whenever he stepped out of the house. What made him even more delicious was that he wasn’t classically handsome, he was ruggedly handsome. Devin had an animalistic quality about him that Alyssa found irresistible. His hair hung to just below his shirt collar and he never pulled it back; it always hung forward, a contradiction to the rest of his presentation. The goatee on his face was always trimmed. He was just the kind of man Alyssa fantasized about.
“So, you’re telling me I shouldn’t buy the rundown apartment building because it’s a bad investment? Listen, Riley, I got enough money to take a couple of losses every now and then. If I buy the building and remodel it, I can make it a low income apartment complex for families who can’t afford those condos you want me to build.”
Alyssa knew he didn’t actually build the buildings himself, but she could picture him doing so. With a hard hat, work boots, and nothing else on… now that would be a sight to see. He would be just as sexy standing on the sidelines watching others work, wearing a black suit like he donned now and every other time she’d ever seen him.
She loved the suits he wore. But being a country girl, she couldn’t help but wonder what he would look like in a pair of jeans and a cowboy hat. And shirtless of course, all cowboys looked better without shirts. Maybe she should describe him that way in her next fantasy entry. Though Devin’s actions and his clothing reeked of professionalism, his body screamed something entirely different. He was built for pleasure, and she wanted to rub her hands over his broad shoulders. Her fingers tingled, itching to touch him.
Alyssa listened to the deep tone of his voice and imagined how sexy he would sound talking dirty to her on the phone. If she was his type and they were dating, she would call his cellphone, and he would answer in that sexy voice of his. She would tell him that the front door was unlocked and when he came in, he was to take his clothes off before entering the kitchen.
In the kitchen she would be bent over the table with her ass in the air. Your dinner is ready, is what she would say to him as he stood naked before her. But she wouldn’t be talking about food; she would be talking about herself. Alyssa felt herself getting wet at her thoughts.
She would have to include that ‘your dinner is ready’ line in her fantasy diary when she went back to her desk. If Devin Jordan was her man, he would never go hungry. She would be his breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Oh, she forgot dessert, that would require toppings, and Alyssa was sure he could provide the whipped cream if she provided the cherry.
She blushed when Devin turned around in his seat and stared at her. Her face flamed as silence stretched between them. She held her breath, afraid to breathe, afraid to move. The intense look in his blue eyes made her even wetter. Good thing he had no idea what she was thinking. Once again doves were being released and angels were singing. He took a deep breath before he spoke.
“Sorry, Alyssa, I will be with you in a second,” he said before turning his attention back to his phone call.
Alyssa let out a pent up breath. Get it together, Alyssa, she chastised herself. She didn’t need her boss to catch her drooling over him. Good secretaries did not fantasize about their boss, especially not when he was right there in front of her. Good secretaries definitely didn’t wish their boss would turn around and stare at her with that intense look again.
Alyssa cocked her head to the side as she stared at the back of his head and imagined him between her legs, licking her greedily while she watched in the mirror. His goatee would tickle her down there, and when he pulled away, the scent of her would linger with him, and that would turn him on even more.
She smiled. That was definitely going in her fantasy diary. Soon, her diary would be just as dirty and delicious as her two sisters’ diaries. Her diary contained over a hundred fantasies. It would take her years to fulfill every naughty scene she’d come up with. But, she was willing to put in the work. Like her sisters, she hadn’t actually fulfilled any of her fantasies yet. If she had to pick one man to star in her fantasies, it would be the man in front of her.
Too bad for her that Devin was her boss and would probably frown at the idea of mixing business with pleasure. Plus, he was probably just as cold and professional in bed as he was in the office. But, in her fantasy diary, he was more naughty than nice. And he didn’t wear suits and ties, he wore absolutely nothing. Alyssa quickly focused her thoughts on work as her boss ended his call and turned to face her. He cleared his throat, and even that sound was sexy to her.
“Alyssa, sorry to disturb you, but I need you to call my Dallas office and tell Justine that I need a list of all paid and unpaid rents for the month of November. I need it on my fax machine by the end of the day.”
Alyssa wrote on her note pad as Devin told her everything he needed from Justine. She’d never met Justine, but she hated her with a passion. The woman never failed to comment on Alyssa’s lack of secretarial skills and state how she would handle things if she was working in the office with Devin.
“Also, tell her that I may need her to fly out here next month to help with a fundraiser I plan to have. I need to bring it to people’s attention that I’m not buying land around here to open up liquor stores and strip clubs, as some of the locals fear. I’m trying to provide the town with quality housing at affordable prices.”
Alyssa jotted down what he said, but she couldn’t deny that she felt a little disappointed he hadn’t asked her to help with the fundraiser. Instead, he was going to fly his secretary in from Texas to help him. She would have to be nice to the witch the whole time she was in town. That thought made her even more upset.
“Anything else you need me to do, Devin?” She tried to force the disappointment out of her voice. From the suspicious look in his eyes, she knew she failed. Devin picked up a pencil and leaned back in his chair. He rolled the pencil between his fingers as he studied her face. She chewed her lip, waiting on him to respond. Silent, he stared at her, his eyes glued to her face.
It was amazing how hard it was for her to keep her eyes from wandering over him. Why did he have to look so yummy in a business suit? She struggled to keep her gaze on his face. If he wasn’t looking at her so intently, she would let her eyes roam over his form. Him leaning back in his chair like that reminded her of a fantasy she added to her diary last week. In that fantasy, he sat in his chair while she knelt between his legs and…
“Do you have plans for Christmas?” he asked.
Alyssa blinked as his words pulled her mind out of its fantasy realm and back to reality. What had he asked her?
“Excuse me?” He was going to think she was a total idiot.
“Christmas, do you have any plans?”
Alyssa frowned at the off the subject question. “Um, I plan to go home to visit my parents in Dansville for a few days.”
“How far away from here is Dansville?”
She almost forgot that he wasn’t from Mississippi. “Dansville is about a three-hour drive from here.” Devin continued to stare at her, causing her to wonder if she had something on her face. She’d eaten a salad for lunch; maybe she had ranch dressing at the corner of her mouth. Alyssa licked her lips, but stopped when Devin broke the pencil he was holding in his hand.
Uh oh, he’d caught her not paying attention, how very unprofessional of her.
His lips thinned. Was he angry with her? Her mind screamed for her to retreat.
“Um, I’m sorry,” Alyssa stood up and gripped her note pad to her chest. “I will go and call Justine now and have her fax those papers to you right away.” He didn’t respond. He just sat there frowning at her.
Should she apologize for her inattentiveness? Considering the way he was frowning at her, she didn’t really think an apology would make him happy. Why was she still standing there staring at him? Get it together, Alyssa. “Um, yeah, okay, I’m leaving now.”
She quickly left his office, closing the door behind her. She practically ran to her desk and sat down. Laying her head on top of her work list she groaned. How stupid could she be? Devin prided himself on his professionalism, yet there she was, in his office, licking her lips, staring off into space, and fantasizing about kneeling between his legs.
If she didn’t get her act together soon, he would be replacing her, and she would have to go back to being a sitter for the elderly. Which wasn’t a bad thing, sitting with his grandmother, Cora Jordan, was what got her this job.
But, if she wanted to keep living in her comfortable house, she would need to keep her job at Jordan Realty; which meant no more fantasizing or day dreaming in front of her boss. Alyssa sat up and picked up her phone. It was time for her to call the evil witch Justine. She dialed the number to her boss’s Dallas office. The call was picked up on the second ring.
“Jordan Realty, Justine speaking,” the high pitched voice of Justine came over the line.
“Hi Justine, this is Alyssa Blakely calling from Mr. Jordan’s Mississippi office.”
“I do have caller I.D., Ms. Blakely. I know exactly who this is.”
Alyssa held the phone away from her ear and counted to ten. She refused to let the woman get her riled up today. After taking a deep breath she resumed the conversation.
“Justine, Mr. Jordan would like for you to fax the invoices for all unpaid and paid rents for the Jordan Condo’s in Dallas by the end of the day.”
“Does he now? I will get right to it, Ms. Blakely. How is my Devin doing these days?
Alyssa gritted her teeth and ignored Justine’s last question. “Mr. Jordan would also like for you to make plans to come to town next month and assist him with a fundraiser he’s planning.”
“Why can’t you help him, Ms. Blakely?”
Alyssa could hear the sarcasm in the woman’s voice. “I’m his secretary, Justine, not his event planner.” That shut the witch up. Go me Alyssa thought with a smile.
“Well, tell Devin I will be more than happy to assist him with anything he needs help with. Just tell my Devin to fax me the dates and I will be there. Is there anything else I can do for you, Alyssa Blakely from the Mississippi office?”
Alyssa was fuming. “No, Justine.”
“Well, bye for now, and tell Devin I hope he has a Merry Christmas,” Justine purred sweetly before hanging up.
Alyssa kept the phone to her ear for a few seconds before slowly placing it back on the receiver. Deep steady breaths helped her get her attitude in check. She didn’t know why she let that woman get to her so bad. Whatever Justine and Devin had going on was none of her business.
She didn’t care that the woman always seemed to insinuate that she knew Devin in an intimate way. She was probably just doing that because she sensed it irritated Alyssa. It did irritate her, very much so. She turned her attention back to her work. She still had to type up a memo for Devin before she went home for the day.
As she typed the memo her mind strayed to thoughts of Justine, as it often did after all of her phone calls with the woman. If Justine was such a great secretary, why didn’t Devin fly her here permanently when he first opened his Mississippi office? Why hire Alyssa? She had no secretarial skills and around him she had a one-track mind.
Well, Alyssa bit her lip; she had a one-track mind even when she wasn’t around him. But she still didn’t understand why he asked her to be his secretary. Oh well, she should just appreciate the fact that he hired her and show him how much she loved her job by actually doing it, instead of daydreaming. Alyssa sighed, not daydreaming about Devin Jordan was going to take every ounce of will power she had… and then some.
Devin Jordan stared at his closed office door. He threw the broken pencil into the wastebasket beside him, and then turned his attention back to the door. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he tried to reign in his desire. It didn’t work. Her scent lingered in the room, and he wished he could bottle it up and take it with him. He knew if he looked into a mirror, he would see that his eyes were slowly turning black, the color of his soul.
Devin took a deep breath and tried to take his mind off his lovely secretary. It was impossible. His mind always strayed to thoughts of her, even when he slept. When she licked her lips just now, he’d hardened, forgetting she was the one woman he could not have. But he craved her, oh how he craved her.
Devin stood up and rubbed his hands through his blond hair. Professionalism, he had to keep the relationship between them professional. But when she sat in his office, he could smell her arousal, and the sweet scent of it had him tongue-tied as he tried to finish the phone call with his business partner. His sweet little secretary wasn’t good at masking her emotions. Everything she felt always showed on her beautiful face.
Devin felt a growl building in his chest. He struggled to contain it. He was jealous. She wasn’t his, and the arousal she felt was not for him. Even though she was a good worker, she was prone to daydreaming, and Devin knew the star of those dreams was her new boyfriend. He’d overheard her talking to her new guy on the phone two weeks ago. She’d made plans to take him home with her for the holidays to meet her parents. Devin snarled as he stared out the back window of his office. His soulless reflection stared back at him.
He bet Alyssa and this new guy made the perfect southern couple. Her family was undoubtedly thrilled that she found a nice guy to date. He bet this new guy of hers was normal, and could handle being around her without wanting to drink her blood or fuck her until she couldn’t walk right for weeks. Devin shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from breaking anything. He bet her new guy wasn’t a beast like him.
Devin clenched his fists in his pockets. Hiring Alyssa Blakely was one of the worst mistakes he’d ever made. Being around her, smelling her sweet scent every day was driving him insane. Knowing that another man was touching her and loving her in ways Devin never would, almost made the demon he kept caged inside of him emerge. He could feel his skin rippling.
Devin took a deep, calming breath. Alyssa was off limits. Even if she were single and interested in him, he still couldn’t have her. It was too risky. She made him feel things he wasn’t used to. He didn’t know if he could handle touching her without hurting her. Hurting Alyssa was something he would never do.
He would just have to endure her presence. He would take pleasure in the shy smiles she cast his way every now and again. He would enjoy the laughs they shared while working late some evenings. He would maintain the professional relationship they had, even though he yearned for a taste of her.
Devin turned and placed his back against the window. Shoulders sagging, he felt like the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders. But it wasn’t the world weighing him down, it was his own feelings – feelings that he was determined to keep bottled up. He stared at the door that separated him from the woman he desired. A piece of metal and space was all that separated his body from hers. It would only take a couple of strides for him to reach the door.
One pull on the door knob and he could send it flying across the room. Then he would be face to face with the one woman in this world that made him wish he wasn’t a beast with a conscience. If he had no conscience, he would take her, now, against his desk, against her desk, against the wall, on every damn hard surface in this building.
He would make sure she enjoyed it. He would make sure he pleased her so thoroughly she wouldn’t ever think of leaving him, even when she found out he was not the man he pretended to be. Devin sighed, but that would never happen. Because though he was a beast, he did indeed have a conscience.
That conscience kept her safe from him… for now.
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