***Take a peek into a scene where best friends, Ashley and Tinsley discuss the importance of hammers…(wink) 🙂
Tinsley looked away. Hmm, she was definitely hiding something. Why was everyone trying to keep things from her?
“Since the friend you were on the phone with wasn’t my sister, who was it?”
“No one important.”
“Okay, who was it?”
“Just a friend, geez?”
“Does this friend have a penis?”
“Really Ashley, why can’t you just ask if my friend is a guy?”
“Because not all guys have penises.”
“Uh, yes they do. You’re the sexpert, you should know that.”
“And as a sexpert I would like to let you know that not all guys have penises. Some guys have dicks.”
“Ashley,” Tinsley shook her head. “I know I’m going to regret asking you this but, what’s the difference?”
“I’m glad you asked. Pass me my glass and I’ll tell you.”
Tinsley crawled back over to the nightstand. “I don’t think I want to hear this.” She mumbled as she grabbed a glass and handed it to Ashley.
“Thanks, okay, are you ready for a Sex Ed crash course?”
Tinsley lay back against a pillow. “We should be writing articles, but I guess we can take a short break for you to explain this nonsense to me.”
“It’s not nonsense.” Ashley took a sip of her drink. “This is the truth. I know the dictionary tells us that a dick is just the slang word for a penis. But once you’ve experience a dick, you will never want to go back to a penis, I promise.”
“Ashley, please quit saying the D word.”
“But that’s what it’s called.”
“I know but it sounds so gritty.”
‘What would you rather I call it?”
“Let’s call it,” Tinsley thought for a second. “Let’s call it a hammer.”
“I LOVE IT. From now on that is what I am going to call it in my column. Yay, what would I do without you Tinsley?”
“Probably go crazy and succumb to your dark side.”
“Yeah, I probably would. Anyway, once you’ve had a hammer you will never return to a penis. Penises are okay, if you’re into making love and all that. But making love is for the birds.”
“I think making love is sweet.” Tinsley said.
“Yeah when you’re married and have a house full of kids. We’re young, we don’t need penises, we need hammers. If he can’t bang me out then we can’t hang out.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t use the word hammer. That puts painful images into my mind.”
“There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of pain when you’re fucking.”
“Okay, okay. I won’t say that word either. Listen, all men have penises. They’re born with them. But some men grow up and their penises grow also.”
“That’s what’s supposed to happen.”
“True, but some men grow more than others.”
Like the hair-sniffer guy. That dude was definitely packing. Damn it, why didn’t she just touch it before she sprayed him? Focus Ashley.
“Anyway, some men’s penises grow into hammers. Those are the kind of men we want in our lives. We want the hammers.”
“And what makes a hammer so special?”
“Because it’s a hammer, that’s why. Duh. Hammers go deep and touch all of those hard to reach places.”
Tinsley burst out laughing.
“It’s not funny. I’m serious.”
Want to read more? Check out Dark Fantasies, available now!
~Dark Fantasies: Book 2 of the Fantasy Diary Series.~
One kiss was all it took.
Between work, family and her ex-boyfriend, Ashley Blakely is completely stressed out. She doesn’t have time to write in her fantasy diary or compete in the annual ‘fantasy wish’ competition her and her sisters have going. The only thing she wants for Christmas is normalcy.
All hope of a normal Christmas… or life… fly out the window the moment she’s kissed by Kelan Grant. Now she’s swept up in a whirlwind of romance, seduction and danger. She wants no part of this new life. Yet once she finds out that her sisters and her best friend are in jeopardy, she will do whatever it takes to keep them safe. Even allow herself to be kidnapped and handcuffed by a devil in disguise.
Dr. Kelan Grant always keeps his word. The moment he lays eyes on Ashley, he vows she will be his for eternity. He doesn’t care that his brother is mated to her sister and wants to keep their real heritage a secret from the Blakely family. Kelan will do whatever it takes to claim his bride.
Kidnapping her is the easy part. Winning her heart is going to take some strategic planning. But between the dark angels stalking him and Ashley’s constant need to break every item in his home, Kelan is having a hard time romancing the woman who he feels already belongs to him.
Will he get the eternity with Ashley he’s envisioned? Or will his enemies snatch her from his grasp and awaken the monster he tries to hide?
***A look into book two – Dark Fantasies: Ashley and Kelan’s story.***
I haven’t written to you in a long while. I’ve been so busy with, well, life. But now I have something juicy to share and I’m not allowed to tell anyone else. Of course Alyssa knows, but she’s going through a few changes right now so my new protector won’t let me see her. My protector is who I’m writing to you about today.
You see, I’ve been kidnapped. No, don’t panic, it’s not anything to get upset about. At first I thought it was. When he first took me I was pissed. But I’m slowly learning that this beast who calls himself my mate is simply a big softy, who wouldn’t harm me no matter how many times I tell him to f**k off, and I do tell him that a lot.
Anyway, we’re kind of hiding from these angel assassins right now so I figure, why not take advantage of this situation and use it to do some research for my erotic romance column. I already have the title for the column picked out: ‘How To Seduce A Vampire.’ My readers are going to love it.
Of course, my protector isn’t talking to me right now, the big baby is mad at me for breaking his brand new television. In my defense, I did tell him I was going to tear sh*t up if he didn’t release me. He actually tied me up, can you believe that?
Oh, well, I guess in order to get what I want I’ll just have to walk around the house naked.
I’m sure he’ll pounce. He’s a predator and I’m going to pretend to be the prey. Once we get rid of all these pesky assassins, I am going back to my regular life. Mr. Big Bad Vampicus – that’s what I call a mix between a vampire and an incubus by the way. Anyway, Mr. Big Bad Vampicus is just going to have to find himself another mate. An independent girl like me and a domineering beast like him would never work out.
Bk 1: Christmas Fantasy – http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Fantasy-Diary-Book-ebook/dp/B00KXE6SF4/
Bk 2: Dark Fantasies – http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OGPJ2KO
Tinsley’s story is coming soon: Wicked Fantasies – BK 3 in the Fantasy Diary Series