Hello and welcome to Siren Chat! Today, I finally get to talk to Exa and Scar. For those of you who don’t know Scar and Exa, they are the main characters from Scar’s Obsession, book 4 of my Dangerously Curvy series. For those who do know them, this is the interview many of you have been pushing me to have. Today, Scar and Exa finally found time to sit down with me. I’ve already been warned not to get too personal. Exa and Scar both threatened me with bodily harm. LMAO. Okay… enough chatting. Readers, I present to you, Scar and Exa!
*Round of applause, please.*
Siren: Hi, Scar and Exa! I’m so excited to have you both with me today.
Exa: We’re excited too! So excited that we even wore our matching bulletproof vests.
Siren: Aren’t all the vests black?
Exa: Nope. Liam and Seven made these new ones for us. Mine is off black and says HIS on the back. Scar’s is jet black and says HERS on the back.
Siren: Oh… Uh… so you got matching bulletproof vests. How romantic!
Exa: I know, right!
Siren: Let’s get started, guys. For today’s interview, I went back and forth about what I wanted to chat with you two about. I ended up going with mental health awareness, since May is Mental Health Awareness month. Are you two comfortable talking about your mental health?
Exa: I am. Scar, are you okay with it?
Scar: I’m okay with it.
Siren: Great. There’s a lot to discuss when it comes to mental health. It would take hundreds of interviews to cover it all. I’ve decided to talk about protecting your mental health.
Exa: Oooh, I like that, Siren. That’s very important. What made you choose that topic?
Siren: It’s something I’ve neglected in the past. And the thing is, I didn’t even know I was neglecting it.
Exa: Say that again for the people in the back.
Siren: Which part?
Exa: The part where you said you didn’t know you were neglecting it. I felt that in my soul.
Siren: Oh, yeah, I didn’t even know I was neglecting to protect my mental health. No one ever talked to me about it. I didn’t even know it was a thing. Now that I think about it, I feel silly for not knowing. While neglecting my own mental health, I was doing everything to protect others’ mental health. For instance, when certain people would ask me for something, or to do something, even if I didn’t want to do it, even if I was too tired to do it, I still did it. Why? Because I didn’t want them to be stressed out or I didn’t want them to have to worry. Yet, their issues that I took on was stressing me out and causing me to worry. It wasn’t until I put down everyone else’s burdens that I realized how much baggage I’d been carrying that wasn’t even mine. I’d picked it up along the way. Or, I’d offered to carry it until the next stop. But, people got used to me carrying it, so they simply left it with me. I got so used to holding that weight, that I didn’t even notice it was weighing me down. It wasn’t until I was almost drowning that I realized their baggage was causing me to sink.
Exa: Girl, you just said it all right there. Yasss! What did you do to protect your mental health?
Siren: I had to let go of that baggage. Getting rid of it caused me to lose some people close to me. However, it also allowed me to see that some people were just using me. The moment I was no longer carrying their burdens, they disappeared. But, I’m okay with that. Mentally, I’m in a good place because they left.
Exa: I’m glad you let that dead weight go. I’ve been there, done that.
Siren: I think most of us have. Which is why I’d like for you two to share with the readers how you protect your mental health. They read about you in these books and see how bad a** you are. But that doesn’t mean you don’t struggle sometimes. Who wants to talk about it first?
Exa: I’ll go first.
Siren: Okay, Exa. How do you protect your mental health?
Exa: I end those who cause me stress.
Exa: I end them. Kill them. Dead.
Siren: Um… you mean, you break ties with them?
Exa shakes her head.
Exa: No. I mean what I said. I end them. And that seems to solve the problem every time.
Siren: Um, let’s talk about the situations where you can’t end a person.
Exa: There’s never a situation where I can’t…
Siren: Exa, this is an interview. Don’t reveal too much about your life, okay?
Exa: Ohhh. My bad. I forgot.
Siren: That’s okay. Let’s try this again. Exa, how do you protect your mental health in this stressful world?
Exa: Well, I don’t kill people. *Exa winks.*
Siren: Of course, you don’t.
Exa: I try to focus on the positive. I try not to let the bad thoughts in and I…
Siren: Honest answers, please.
Exa: So, you want the nitty gritty?
Siren: Yes. How do you protect your mental? Without, uh, ending people.
Exa: Okay, I’ll tell you. I don’t. The truth is, I suck at protecting myself. I’m able to protect others. But, when it comes to me, I always put me last. It’s a bad habit I’m trying to let go of. Most people think I’m strong and unbothered simply because I’ve embraced my curves and don’t give a damn about social norms when it comes to weight. They fail to realize that I truly love me. I love my size. I love my curves. I’m very active. I eat right…. sometimes. But, I’m healthy. My heart is healthy. Yeah, I’m curvier and plumper than most. That doesn’t mean I’m upset or disturbed by it. What gets me down is seeing others suffer. I have a habit of taking on their pain. Not on purpose. It just happens. Even when they’re not worrying, I worry about them. My job is to save people. But, sometimes I fail. And that failure eats away at me until I feel like I’m going to go crazy. I try not to think about it. That’s how I used to try to protect my mental. I used to shove all those dark thoughts down and hope they never escaped. That no longer works. Now, I embrace those thoughts. I tell myself I’m only human. I can’t save every one. I no longer punish myself for not being perfect. No one is. I don’t let the thoughts and judgements of others make me feel pressured. However, like I said, I’m only human. Even when I don’t want to let others’ thoughts and judgements get to me, sometimes they do. When that happens, I allow myself to have a pity party. I cry. I let it out. I cry until I get a headache. I scream at the wall until my throat is sore. I let the anger out. I no longer hold it in. And then, I wipe my face and I take a nap. Before I go to sleep, I tell myself it’s going to be okay. I’m alive. I’m healthy. I have my squad. I have the man of my dreams. I remind myself, that though my life isn’t perfect, it’s full, it’s happy, it’s beautiful. Basically, protecting my mental involves allowing myself to be weak at times and not feeling guilty about it. Crying doesn’t make me weak. It took me a long time to realize that. It’s okay to cry. Just don’t let the tears last longer than the smiles do.
Siren: I LOVE it, Exa. I’m glad you’ve found a way to protect yourself. Scar, your turn. How do you protect your mental health?
Scar: I used to think talking about my thoughts and feelings made me weak. The first step for me was realizing that talking about how I feel doesn’t make me weak, it makes me strong. I no longer hold everything in. I no longer hold on to things that tear me down. I’ve learn to let go of any and everything that makes me feel bad. My protecting my mental health means loving some people from a distance. No matter how close you are to someone, sometimes you will need space from them. No matter how much you care about someone, sometimes, you have to let them shoulder their own burdens. No matter how much you love someone, sometimes, you have to put yourself first. I try not to feel guilty for telling others no. When I started doing that, my life became better. I mean, I still deal with F’d up stuff, but my mind is clearer. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m living my life and not simply existing. I guess you could call that protecting my mental. Right?
*Smiling* Siren: Right! That’s definitely protecting your mental. I’m glad you realized that you don’t have to carry everyone’s baggage, Scar. You used to look stressed out all the time. You look healthier now. More carefree.
Scar: I’ve got my woman to thank for that. Before I met her, I was always self conscious about my scar. If someone stared at me too long, I got offended. If they said something about it, it made me want to kill them…
Exa: With kindness. Kill them with kindness. Remember, this is an interview, Savage.
Scar: Right. I wanted to kill them… with kindness. I no longer feel that way. When people stare, I think to myself, that’s their business, not mine. If they don’t like how I look, that’s their problem, not mine. I don’t hide under hoodies any more. I have no reason to hide my scar. It’s part of me. Always will be.
Exa: He even smiles when I kiss it. Don’t you, Savage?
Siren: Scar, are you blushing?
Scar: No. It’s hot in here. Is the AC on?
Siren: I’m not hot.
Exa: Neither am I. You’re blushing, Savage.
Scar: Men don’t blush. Let’s get back to the subject. Like I said, I no longer hide my scar. I no longer carry others’ baggage. I still have F’d up thoughts sometimes, but it’s nothing like it used to be. I’m in a better headspace now. And that’s how I protect my mental.
Siren: Awesome. Thank you two for sharing with us how you stay healthy mentally. I have to bring you guys back on Siren Chat to talk about your love life one day. Before you go, do you have any love tips for the readers?
Exa: I have one. No matter how big the D is, you still have to suck it. So, practice jaw exercises.
Siren: Wow. Okay. What about you, Scar? Any romance tips?
Scar: I have one. Protect your love. Don’t let anyone come between it. Don’t let anyone tear it down. Don’t let anyone shake your foundation. For a long time I was mad at Garrett because he didn’t trust me. I’ve come to realize, he was trying to protect his love. Yeah, he went about it wrong. But, I’m no longer mad at him, because I get it now. I’ll do anything for Exa. I’ll destroy anyone who is a threat to Exa. I’ll destroy anyone who gets too close to Exa. What Garrett and I both have to learn is that we can’t let our emotions make us crazy. We have to protect our mental health while protecting the women we love. We’re so accustomed to fighting for what we want, what we love, that we believe we have to do the same thing when it comes to the women we love. Being with Exa is helping me realize I don’t have to fight for her love. I’ve already got it. I’ve just got to protect it without losing myself in the process. That’s what I’m working on now. Learning to protect my love without losing myself.
Siren: Awww. I love it! I love that you and Garrett are back on good terms. I love that you’re both working on your mental health. And I love that you both have women who love you unconditionally, flaws and all. Thanks, Scar and Exa, for joining me today to discuss mental health. I appreciate it.
Scar & Exa: You’re welcome.
Siren: Readers, if you haven’t read Scar and Exa’s story yet, it’s available on Amazon and FREE with Kindle Unlimited. Binge read the entire series this weekend.
Click HERE to view the Dangerously Curvy Series on Amazon!
Before we go, I have a question for you, readers. What are you doing to protect your mental health? I’d love to hear about it. Leave me a comment and let me know. Always remember to take time out for yourself each day. To-do lists never end. As soon as you finish one, you start another. Those chores aren’t going anywhere. Some of those important tasks can wait a few more minutes. Take time out for yourself each day. Protect your mental health.
Until next time, be safe and always read past your bedtime!
P.S. Don’t forget to leave a comment letting me know what actions you’re taking to protect your mental health. Or, let me know what actions you plan to start taking to protect your mental health.
4 thoughts on “Mental health awareness with Scar and Exa.”
I take a walk each morning.
I’ve started going on daily walks also. It helps me clear my head and get ready for the day. Thanks for commenting.
Hey Siren girl. It’s girl good to see that you’ve let go of those who were bringing you down. I can honestly say that I started protecting my mental health 25 years ago when I had my first child. My daughter has sickle cell disease and being a parent to a sick child was hard. I was 20 years old and I was a single mother because as some men do he didn’t step up. When I saw that I had to navigate those treacherous waters on my own. I realized that I had to grow up and stand on my own for my child. At first I would break down whenever she got sick and had to go to the hospital, but then one day I sat down and re-evaluated everything in my life and how it was affecting me. That was the day that I decided that enough was enough and that no one was going to handle, carry, or worry about my problems and situations but me. I mean don’t get me wrong my mother was there to help me as much as she could but for the most part I was on my own. I’m not gonna lie before I had my kids and they became the center of my universe. I did let people get under my skin and I did worry about what I now know was silly shit. But not since 1997 have I let anyone steal my joy, or let anything bother me so much that it causes me to lose control of my mental health. Truthfully now people think that I mean or cold because I live by the saying that. Bullshit rolls off me like water on a ducks back. IN OTHERS BULLSHIT AINT NOTHING. This life we live is hard enough for us as humans, the last thing we need to do is hold other peoples problems, burdens, etc. I’ve learned that we have to do what we have to do to stay afloat ourself , you did the right thing SIREN! And I know you feel so much lighter. Keep your head up doll and don’t ever let anyone put too much on you again. Life is too damn short and full of too much love and greatness. You’re a GIANT! Shit like that is a small thing to a GIANT. LIVE YOUR TRUTH, LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU AND NO ONE ELSE AND NOTHING OR NO ONE WILL STOP YOU!. LOVE, LIVE, AND ALWAYS BE BLESSED!
Thank you for commenting, Kenya. 🙂